Take the Risk

For those who don't know me. I am the type of person who knows what she wants, goes after it,  fulfills the goal and more.
The beginning of this year, I had a rude awakening. I realized what I truly wanted was not what I was going after. For some reason, that scared me. For the first time in my life, I saw things weren't going as "planned". This led me to a point of being raw with myself and questioning: Did I take a wrong turn? Did I hear God wrong? Is God trying to show me something? What did I do to deserve this? Where am I headed?
I tried ignoring the noises in my head because it made me feel like I had control and everything was good.

After all, in society's eyes everything was perfect! Graduated college at 22, had a corporate job, married young and starting to prepare for the American dream right? Am I crazy for not being happy?
When I shared this with my husband, it became real to me. Similar to the phases of grief you go through; but I was stuck on acceptance. I needed to accept the path I was on, wasn't leading me to where I thought I would finish. It wasn't that I was not where I needed to be, because I was. I knew without a doubt, I was right where the Lord wanted me. God was trying to get my attention and calling me out of my comfort zone to follow His next step, not mine.

I began reflecting on a book I had read a year or so prior,  "Love Does".  When I read this book,  the realist in me thought, dreaming is great but the reality is we don't always get to do what we love. That's why we have hobbies. But I couldn't take my own advice. My heart was heavy and I couldn't ignore it. The only comfort I had was trusting Jesus was doing something, I couldn't see. My days were dark, long and with no answers. I was questioning if God even saw my hurt; asking him if he would rescue me out of this dungeon of confusion. After many months of silence, Jesus spoke. Did he share with me why I am going through this and His plan? No. He kept it simple and brief.  "Let's Go!" OK. Where are we going? His response,  "Trust me". Like I mentioned earlier, I am a planner. Taking risks is not how I like to live. But Jesus doesn't call us to do difficult things, He calls us to do the impossible, so our lives can be a pure reflection of His hands performing things He can only do.

The faith journey is a yes journey. Our journey led us to say: "Yes, we are taking the risk of leaving a comfortable position to see Jesus do bigger things than we imagined." He has provided new opportunities I would have never taken before. I am learning to dream with God and slowly allowing Him to hold my heart. I am continuously reminded God has never failed and He won't start now.

It's been a few years

Hello there and welcome back!

If you read through my past blog posts you can see that I was on a trip to Kenya, single and still in college. Well, I am not in Kenya, I am not in college and I am not single. So I guess a lot has changed. I decided not to start a new blog because as I read through it, I was able to see the heart behind the posts. My heart was so on fire for the Lord and my life was radically changed from being in Africa for 3 months. My heart is still to serve my Father and live out the calling He has on my life. My intention for this blog is to share life with you and encourage strong women out there to continue being the woman God has called you to be. My first series of blog posts will talk about my journey after college: corporate job, marriage and finding myself in it all.

Thank you for this opportunity to share my heart with you.

Nicole